


Reviewing The Situation

by Creej



Category: White Collar
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 08:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13477143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creej/pseuds/Creej
Summary: Our favorite trio, well aware they're characters, bitch a little about writers and offer some suggestions.





	Reviewing The Situation

**Author's Note:**

> Popped into my head. Had to get it down. Enjoy.

Neal groaned softly and dropped his head onto his folded arms, prompting Peter to ask, "Neal?"

"Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels it," he said, voice slightly muffled.

"Feel what, sweety?" Elizabeth asked, looking up from her laptop.

Peter sighed. "No, it's not just you," he said. "I was hoping I could ignore it but..."

"Ah," Elizabeth said. "Well, since I"m not really feeling...different, I guess it's slash between the two of you."

"Any chance we can keep it UST?" Neal asked hopefully. "Because, you know, I'd be just fine with that."

"You usually give in to your impulses," Elizabeth said. "Why not this time?"

"Because it's not really _my_ impulse," Neal said. "Besides, he's your husband."

"And if it's decided I"m okay with it then I'm okay with it," Elizabeth said.

"Are you?" Peter asked.

Elizabeth seemed to consider it for a few moments. "I'm not sure," she said. "The story may not have progressed that far yet."

Neal wasn't the only one who groaned at her answer. "These writers don't actually think I'd cheat on you..." Peter said.

"A few have you doing just that," Neal said.

"You _do_ know it's not by choice, don't you?" Peter asked Elizabeth, sounding a little worried.

"I know hon," Elizabeth said, patting his hand reassuringly.

Neal propped his head on a hand. "You know, normally I'm up for just about anything the writers come up with - serial killer, vampire, FBI agent, college student, hell, even dark - but just once I'd like to have a little input," he said. "I mean, is that really too much to ask?"

"I don't think so," Peter said. "And I know what you mean. It would be nice to have some say in what happens."

"Well, I can understand the appeal of the two of you together," Elizabeth said. "And it's really a short step from the kind of bromance you two have to a full on relationship."

"You seem to be one of a whole hell of a lot," Neal said. "Most of the stories are either slash with me and Peter or OT3."

"What would you ask for if you could?" Elizabeth asked curiously.

"More RPF," Neal said.

"But what would _you_ do?' Peter asked.

"Enjoy the time off," Neal said with a wry smile.

Elizabeth went back to her laptop and typed briefly, a frown touching her brow. A few minutes later, she said, "Ah. There seems to be a series of RPF stories that have you meeting your counterparts."

"Me and Neal? Or do you too?" Peter asked.

"I don't meet mine but I do meet yours," Elizabeth said.

"We need more of that,' Neal said.

"I agree," Peter said.

"Well, RPF may be harder to write because the actors aren't as well known as you are," Elizabeth said.

"She has a point," Peter said.

"All right, then how about more casefic?" Neal suggested. "Everyone seems to agree we make a hell of a team. Straight casefic without the slash."

"Or more crossovers?" Elizabeth offered.

"There's an idea," Neal said. "I mean, the possibilities are almost endless. They don't call New York The Crossroads of the World for nothing."

"There's also the AUs," Elizabeth said. "I personally like the one where you're an artist."

"I _am_ an artist," Neal said.

"Without you also being a con," Peter said. "There really aren't many where your artistic ability is showcased."

"And in that AU, you never went to prison, you met Peter under different circumstances but you still become friends," Elizabeth said.

"So why the fascination with slash?" Neal asked. "I tend to think of myself as straight, not bi or gay."

"I'm in the same boat, you know," Peter said.

"I think the fascination comes from..." Elizabeth paused a moment. "Well, you're both good looking men, so..." She shrugged. "It's just easy for them to slip into the slash with you."

"A lot easier than slash with you and another woman, it seems," Neal said.

"Jealous?" Elizabeth asked impishly.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Neal said.

"And you don't have a problem with me and Neal?" Peter asked.

"Like I said, hon. If the writer decides I don't then I don't," Elizabeth said.

"Outside that," Peter said. "Would you if there was no input from a writer?"

Elizabeth let out a breath. "I'm not sure," she said. "Maybe?"

"I would," Neal said. "I would never voluntarily come between the two of you. You probably have one of the best marriages known. I'm willing to admit that Peter's a handsome guy but I'd prefer to keep him as a friend... _without_ benefits."

"I'd prefer it that way myself," Elizabeth said. "But we have to take what we're given and that won't change..."

"Until or unless we're allowed input," Peter finished on a sigh.

"Well, maybe someone will let us," Neal said as he stood. "But right now, I'm going back to June's."

"You'll stay out of trouble?" Peter asked, brows raised.

"I'm in no mood for getting into trouble," Neal said. He gave them both a nod. "Peter, Elizabeth."

"Would you _really_ have a problem with me and Neal?" Peter asked his wife when the door closed behind the conman.

"Honestly?"

"Always preferable."

"Actually..." Elizabeth's eyes crinkled in mischief. "Not a bit. You?"

Pete smirked. "What do you think?" he asked. "But don't tell Neal that."

"Naughty, naughty, Agent Burke," Elizabeth said with a wicked laugh.

"So do you want to tease him? Drop innocent innuendoes?"

"We can start the next time he's over," Elizabeth said with an answering grin.

Peter looked up. "So? How's that for an idea?"

A piece of paper floated down and came to rest on the table. "What's it say?" Elizabeth asked. She leaned over to get a look at it then exchanged a grin with Peter.

THAT CAN BE ARRANGED


End file.
